For Children
"Making Memories" Boxes for Children
Oscar's Wish Foundation has created a support box for children in conjunction with bereaved parents who found supporting their children a journey. Together we have created a bereavement support resource called a "Making Memories Box". This box is filled with craft items that a child can explore & make in memory & honour of their sibling who has died. Each box contains 6 activities that are age appropriate using quality products. They are neatly housed in a recycled card snap shut box making it accessible for age 3+. These have been created for 3-5 years old and 6+ years. The idea is that the child can make & create cards, sun catchers, trinket boxes and more and these can then be placed in a special place or kept in the Memory Box. Once the activities are completed the box can used to house special items that you might wish to share with your child.
Creating a memory box with child can be an emotional experience. You may feel sad or overwhelmed at times. However you might also find it satisfying to reflect on your own memories and share these with your child. Copying a scan photo, sharing a lock of hair, copying any hand or footprints that might have been taken can be healing to discuss with your child. You may find it helpful to have a relative or friend support you through the process.
What items could you share with your child to add to the Making Memories box?
The suggestions here can be adapted to help you create a memory box for any loved one. Depending on your child's age, children can be involved in building their own memory box to remember the person or baby who has died.
The special thing about a memory box is that it can be as simple or elaborate as you personally like. This may differ for those who feel that they do not have many tangible items or memories.
If you need any help and advice to get you started why not ask in our online support groups or pop us an email?
Before you decide what to include, you may find it helpful to think about different types of memories. For example:
-
a special time you and your child shared together when you knew that you were expecting?
-
something you enjoyed or laughed about together while pregnant?
-
a memory that offers you or your child some comfort?
-
any photos that hold memories
-
any items that hold memories for you- such as little white feathers
You can include anything that is important to you or your child, or that helps to remind them of a specific memory.
We understand that it is sometimes difficult to know where to start. Here are some suggestions:
-
You can have a photo of you with your child/ren
-
You could write a poem together
-
The box could be covered in a fabric with significance, such as material printed with a favourite nursery rhyme or cartoon character
-
You could write a letter to your child and explain gently what happened and how much you love them
-
You could save some videos of you as a family on to a memory card for you all to watch
-
You could create some small cards with messages on them and you could include details of your favourite things.
-
Examples include: ‘We love all of our children / you because...’, ‘Thank you for…’
-
You can add anything that has a personal story attached to it to the box. This might include jewellery, cards, toys, or tickets from places you visited while pregnant that hold special memories. It can help to attach a small note to the object as a reminder for your child. Luggage labels are a practical way of doing this
-
You could add a note with each item to explain why they are important to you and your child
Creating a memory box with child can be an emotional experience. You may feel sad or overwhelmed at times. However you might also find it satisfying to reflect on your own memories and share these with your child. Copying a scan photo, sharing a lock of hair, copying any hand or footprints that might have been taken can be healing to discuss with your child. You may find it helpful to have a relative or friend support you through the process.
How can a Making Memories Box be used?
Finding ways to remember or honour the baby or babies who have died, and to take their memory forward, can be a helpful part of the grieving process for adults and children.
Whatever you choose to put into a Making Memories memory box can be used to tell your child stories later in life. This can help even very young children build up a store of memories that they may otherwise be too young to hold on to.
Depending on the age of your child, they may want to look through the memory box alone once they have made all of the craft items. They may want to have a parent, sibling, or relative with them to share the memories. Some children may need a bit of time before they feel ready to look at the memory box and other children might not feel they ever need to look in the memory box.
"Remembering our babies and honouring their little lives"